How did it ever come to this.
(Looking back, I guess I know.)
Life does it to you.
Grief does it to you.
Even happiness does it to you.
Having children DEFINITELY does it to you.
(So does getting up for work at 2:30 in the morning.
Every morning.
And living out of step with the rest of society.)
Exhaustion can do it to you.
But in the end…I really did it to myself.
(So does getting up for work at 2:30 in the morning.
Every morning.
And living out of step with the rest of society.)
Exhaustion can do it to you.
But in the end…I really did it to myself.
I'm a victim of my own pathetic self indulgence.
God, I HATE having no one to blame but myself!
It’s not something that’s as serious as war, child abuse, poverty, or a death in the family.
I know that.
But it is something that bothers me.
And it bothers me every day.
And it has bothered me for a long time.
I am overweight.
Really overweight.
And have been for a long time.
I feel ugly.
And sad.
And ridiculous.
And out of control.
It’s not dignified.
It’s abusive.
It’s sick.
It’s an insult to God.
And to myself.
There are so many things I would like to change about the world we live in.
And yet…I have been unable to make this one, small change in myself.
What’s the matter with me?
But maybe there is still hope.
Maybe there is still time, and there is still the drive in me to make this change.
It’s not something that’s as serious as war, child abuse, poverty, or a death in the family.
I know that.
But it is something that bothers me.
And it bothers me every day.
And it has bothered me for a long time.
I am overweight.
Really overweight.
And have been for a long time.
I feel ugly.
And sad.
And ridiculous.
And out of control.
It’s not dignified.
It’s abusive.
It’s sick.
It’s an insult to God.
And to myself.
There are so many things I would like to change about the world we live in.
And yet…I have been unable to make this one, small change in myself.
What’s the matter with me?
But maybe there is still hope.
Maybe there is still time, and there is still the drive in me to make this change.
And then maybe I can move on to making other changes.
More important changes.
Maybe there's hope.
Today, I am going to make a new start.
And I am going to try to drop that 40 (plus) pounds, and become the fittest 53 year old woman I know.
Maybe there's hope.
Uh oh.
I’m reminded of what Yoda said.
“There is no try. There is only do.”
Yoda…here’s to you.
Uh oh.
I’m reminded of what Yoda said.
“There is no try. There is only do.”
Yoda…here’s to you.
1 comment:
Being out with crazy English people does it to you as well. ("I'll have what you're having")
Nice picture! (I'm only half the man I used to be.)
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